I sense there's something in the wind

That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by her

Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does she notice my feelings for her?
And will she see how much she means to me?

I think it's not to be.

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will her actions lead us then?

Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And will we ever end up together?

No, I think not, it's never to become.

For I am not the one.

and will we ever end up together ?

no, I think not, it's never to become.

for I am not the one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09ob-L-BNas

Hear those lovely voices.

And feel that wonderfull feeling.

... wait. What am I doing.

What am I dreaming about.

No. 
It's just wrong.

Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

Guess I'd rather hurt

Than feel nothing at all.

Yeah.

The pain of having a crush on someone who's already dating.

But it's only a stupid crush. I'll forget her.. hopefully.

Sorry I haven't wrote anything really important for ages. |'D

So.. yeah. Now I'm goin to tell you guys a bit about what's going on in my life.

I've had really big problems in my school. Now my mother asked that if I could stop learning German. It was okay with my rector.

You're so sweet, Vesa. I'm really thankfull.

'Cause I hate learning German ! For few reasons.. I don't know why I chosed it.

And yeah. I had a little conflickt with few of my 'friends'.. but it's solwed too. But I'm still angry..

And my father's girlfriend still hates me. I hate her too. Die you fucking asshole ♥

But yessss... Actually I'm really happy right now. 'Cause I can talk to my crush and we have really good time together ^ ^ But the only problem is that I'd like to feel her words in a bit different way.. 

And we ordered my Giotto-cosplay's wig today n____n ! ♥ I'm going to get that costume as soon as my mother buys it.. I hope that that's soon. I'd show you some pictures when I have that wig, and when I have that whole costume.

I'm going to get eyeglasses.. 'cause my head aches always when I read something. Right now too.

But it's okay, I think that glasses suit me pretty well.

I NEED THE FEELING WHEN YOU COME TO ASK ME THAT "ARE YOU ALLRIGHT?"

BECAUSE I'M NOT. I FEEL SO FUCKING LONELY.

I NEED LOVE. I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVEN'T FORGET ME.

....

please.

Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doin' my hair
Preparing for another date

A kiss up on my cheek
As he reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long

Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know

Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why

Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

...a murderer

FROM HERE ON OUT
I'LL BE YOUR COMMANDER

NO FEAR NO DOUBT
I'LL PROVIDE THE ANSWER

I fell in love with that song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjT3UtRr99I Mostly with the chorus.

And I fucking love nazi!Prussia. And normal Prussia.

Gilbert.. He's something so... ah !

I wish I could be like him someday.. feeling myself so awesome like he does.

I'm sure I'll feel myself awesome. Love myself.

'Cause I can't love anyone else.

Someday.

Gilbert. You're just too perfect.

Before I've cried about how other's have hurt me. I'm not angry anymore.

It's your own problem if you hurt me. I'm too strong to care about that kinda shit anymore.

Those ones who've dumped me, it's your own problem. I know that I'm almost perfect... or am I ?

....

Yes. Yes I am.

Suck my balls, bitches !

I'm just feeling a bit angry... about what you said.

26.2.-1.4.2011.

You said you'd love forever. That's what everyone says.

Then you broke your promises. Everything about our future and our relationship.

1.4.

It was the horriblest day of my entire life. I just cried.

You said that I'm not good enough. That you're not into me anymore.

What happened to "I'll love you forever." and "you'll always be my number one" ? Were they all lies ?

Now you have another 'number one', and so do I.

But still I kinda miss your touch. Your voice when you were calling my name.

No.

I hate you. You broke my heart. You came, made fool out of me and left me.

You left scars to my heart. They'll never heal.

Everything is 'cause of you.

Or... then I'm just not good enough.

Thanks for those lovely weeks when you 'loved' me. Thanks for that one fucking day.

The day what made my personality completely different.

Now I fear everything what everyone else are saying. I always fear that that same thing happens again.

I just wanna say that I loved all your lies. Lies that you really loved and cared about me.

In the end of our relationship I actually knew that they were lies. 'Cause you were saying everything good about other people. Everyone else but me.

You can guess how horrible that felt.

Thanks for ruining one part of my life <3

Löysin 2 kaunista, pienenpientä avainta mun vanhan repun pohjalta. Tiiän et niillä on joku merkitys. Mut en muista mikä..

Sainpahan uuden tavotteen mun elämään.

Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough.

Joo. Taas yks paska päivä.

Kukaan ei kuuntele mun ongelmia tai ees yritä auttaa. Paitsi Mirka ja Sirja. Mulle rakkaimmat ja tärkeimmät henkilöt, joita ilman oisin jo kuollu ja kuopattu.

Mut neki asuu nii vitun kaukana.

En millään, MILLÄÄN jaksais raahautuu kouluun muitten hakattavaks, kiusattavaks ja haukuttavaks.

Haluisin vaa karata johonki pois.

KAUAS pois.

Asuu vaikka Mirkan kellaris.